This is my interpretation of what must be going through my two, soon to be three, year olds mind. Mom’s of tots, you will understand.
My sippy cup haaas to be around here somwhere. MOM. MOOOOOOOOOOOOM. CUP! CUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPYYYYYYY! Oh no it must be missing. Dear Lord please, oh there it is. Finally. NOOOOOOOOOO! I MUST SCREAM SOME MORE BECAUSE IT IS EMPTY! HOW COULD MY MOTHER ALLOW IT TO BE EMPTY! OH THE HORROR OF THE EMPTINESS! I must scream and throw it down the hall now. Maybe that’ll get her attention since she’s been ignoring my tantrum. She says things like, “Miley, use your words. ASK me for it. If you’re screaming, I don’t hear you.” How can yo not hear me you crazy woman?! And are you insane?! The empty cup is unforgivable. How dare you think that I could just ASK NICELY!?! This is unacceptable! You should quit being a mom because real mom’s would never let a sippy cup get empty.
OH THE HORROR! She just walked past my EMPTY cup like she didn’t hear it bang loudly against the wall. I MUST SCREAM MORE! Maybe if I kick the wall she’ll pour some juice in it. Ouch that hurt. Now I’m crying because I’m so mad and that hurt! ICE! BANDAID! DORA BANDAIND, I scream, but she just looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
My older sister is asking mom to make me stop, but she should know the horror of my situation. She was once two, wasn’t she?! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! CUPPY!
Maybe if I throw myself in the floor and roll around all over the house she’ll notice. I’m getting dizzy but it’s okay, it’s all in the name of my beloved cuppy and juice! I’ll even kick her heels as she walks by, yeah that’ll do it!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!! Hot wet tears are all over my face and my hair is sticking to them! If she would just get me some juice then I would stop! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
I’ll pick up the cup and throw it again. Nope that didn’t work. Oh the horror!!!!!!
She just put me in time out and told me when I can say sorry and ask nicely she’ll let me get up and fix me my cup. HA! Yeah right!
I must cry and scream more.
A few minutes pass and mom comes and sits in time out with me. That’s right, she SHOULD be in time out for not giving me my sippy cup when I demanded it.
“Miley,” says mom in a calm voice I cannot understand. How is she calm? My sippy cup is empty! The world must be ending! “Just ask mom nicely, like this. Mom, sippy cup, please?”
I’ll humor her and try it, after all, NOTHING else worked. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. “Cuppy pwease.”
She kisses my cheek, wipes my tears, takes me by the hand and fills up my cup.
Oh. Well, now I want Dora. And I must scream for that too.Here we go again.