You are probably friends with an author if. . .

Being friends with an author is hard work.  I have some really awesome people in my life who I know are the real deal because they put up with my weirdness.  I’m sure all of them can shout a big AMEN to all of these.

  • You are eating dinner somewhere and they blankly stare off into nothingness.  Don’t worry, they hear you.  They’re good at hearing multiple voices in their heads.  And just give them their “moment” of temporary bliss.  An idea has just come to them and they may just grab the nearest pen and paper to jot down some notes.

idea

  • While having a conversation they tend to jump from topic to topic in a nano second before finishing what they were talking about to begin with. Their brains are weird.  I have no other logical explanation for that.

albert-einstein

  • They become a recluse periodically. They still love you, I promise.  And once they come out of their cave, they’ll be dying to get out and be human again.  But while they are in their anti-socialness, understand that they need that time.  Imagine having a million different voices in your head while also trying to be a normal functioning human being that people don’t want to throw into a mental institution?  Sometimes your writer friend just needs space to clear their head from everything.  This is especially true after they’ve finished writing a book.  While to most that may seem like a huge accomplishment and one should celebrate, but to a writer there is a thing called “writers remorse”.  These characters have lived and breathed inside of them and it’s hard saying goodbye before moving onto the next story and new people.

hiding

  • They may ask you to do something stupid crazy. Just go and have fun.  They are just looking for inspiration.  And trust me, it’s better to go then to deal with them if they get writers block because their lacking inspiration.  That brings me to number 5.

25-People-Arrested-Costume

  • Sometimes your writer friend will become a total asshat. Don’t take it personal.  A character may have just taken a turn they didn’t want or they can’t write for the life of them because they’re having dreadful writers block which makes them feel like they want to riot and chase their characters with pitch forks so they’ll speak again.

angry

  • People watcher. Your writer friend will watch people.  Don’t scold them for staring.  They are simply watching body language and listening to conversations for inspiration.

creepy edward

  • They will listen to a song on repeat. It may be the worst song ever but if it inspires them, DON’T CHANGE THE SONG!  You may lose a finger or an eye.

music

  • They spend ungodly amounts of time on social media. They have to.  Bottom line.  They have to connect with their readers and the big world to promote their work.  Their name is a business and they are working their asses off to make it a success.

social-media-exhaustion

  • They may randomly ask you to repeat things you said. Not because they didn’t hear you, but because they loved it so much that it’ll probably end up in a book somewhere and they are taking mental note of it, or grabbing the nearest pen and writing it down.

Ron-Burgundy-What-Did-You-Say-Anchorman

  • Your writer friend probably has a very strange internet search history. Don’t look at their search history.  Just don’t.  Trust me.

google history

Moral of this story?  Authors are a weird breed and if you can survive a friendship with them, kudos because it ain’t easy.

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